Notes for January 2014 classes Translating instructions Principles of technical writing for technical translation

before This instruction is incorrectly written: If you want to activate the unit, the lid should be open before the start button is pressed.

after Activating the unit 1.Open the lid. 2.Press the start button.

ad-hoc principles for writing instructions –Commands –Clarity –Concision –Chronology –Captions

commands The English imperative happens to be the simplest verb form! Take advantage of this. …en vous protégeant d’un masque… Wear a mask … Whenever you can, start your sentences with the command verb.

Be diplomatic in your commands Don’t boss the user around Pour voter, vous devez vous rendre…. –Go to … to vote. Avoid must, have to in instructions Use imperatives –Look for alternatives »You need to…. »It is mandatory to…

clarity Getting the message across –Breaking the text up into bite-sized chunks Bullet points –Easier to grasp if all have the same structure All imperatives All noun phrases… etc –Providing descriptive headings –Good layout is essential

concision Leaving out unnecessary verbage –Il faut savoir que… –Nous attirons votre attention sur… –At the end of a list : enfin, –In the text : en effet… etc.

Concision, but not at the expense of clarity Nouns may be shorter –Avoid inhalation but verbs are clearer –Avoid breathing any lime in Verbs are safer: you are in control

chronology Is your text set out in the right order? - After opening the session, you can log on If there are steps –number them !

captions Use captions to break up a long text Write descriptive captions –If the following section is not relevant to particular users, they can skip it.

User-friendly grammar Avoid left-bearing sentences –Long subject, short predicate Unpack grammatical metaphors

Packing and unpacking Recategorizing abstract deverbals in French into corresponding active verb in English. On peut supposer que c'est une éruption volcanique, il y a ans, qui a éradiqué tous les représentants de cette espèce insulaire. A volcano may have erupted 12,000 years ago, killing all the representatives of this island-dwelling species

Semantic chain Renseignez-vous sur les différentes modalités d’accueil à l’ENST Bretagne auprès du Service des Relations Internationales de votre établissement d’origine. –Go back up the semantic chain and reexpress the message.

Simplify Your International Office will tell you how to enrol at ENST Bretagne

And some echos from research Procedural discourse (esp. instructions) –Explicative function –Convincing function to motivate the user –Importance of tasks, neccessity to do them all –Advice as to how to carry the tasks out to convince the user –the explanation is the best way to achieve the goal –and of no risk to avoid the user making mistakes Amgoud et al (2006)

Stages in writing instructions Checklist of points to include in each stage Where? The place of the action –part of the screen –part of the appliance What? must the user do What? what the user is working on Why? is the user doing this –What is the aim?

Références pratiques Mallender, A (2002), L’ABC de la rédaction technique, Paris. Dunod. Ahrens, V. Cours de rédaction technique. diderot.fr/user/virginie_ahrens/coursm1_redaction_ technique

homework Analysis of translation strategies from the Esprit instruction handbook.

headings Vous êtes maintenant connecté… –You are now logged in –You have now logged in –You have logged in to the platform (to our website) –Login succesful –You are now connected

headings (2) « Naviguer » dans le menu principal -Why the inverted commas? -What is the most appropriate verb form? -How to use the main menu -How to browse (in, through) the main menu -Browsing the main menu -Browsing through the home menu -‘Navigate’ through the main menu

headings (3) Utiliser le menu –Using the menu –How to use the menu –Navigating the menu –How to use the main menu of the Esprit webpage

1st paragraph – some questions Vous avez introduit votre pseudo et mot de passe. Vous devriez voir apparaître un écran semblable à celui-ci (cf. figure ci-dessous). Cet écran, intitulé écran « Menu » présente, dans la partie de gauche, la liste des formations et des cours auxquels vous êtes inscrit (et uniquement ceux-là). –Is this an instruction or an explanation? –Are you reassured reading ‘Vous devriez voir… ’? –Are the links between text and image optimal? –What is the relationship between formation and cours?

Instructions or explanations? Enter your username and password. After logging in, a screen like the one illustrated (below) should appear/will appear/appears Enter your…. A screen like the picture below… Once you have logged in, you will be taken to your ‘Menu’. Now that you have entered your… When you enter your name and password, a screen like the one below appears After you have entered/entering your username and password, you should be able to see…

Local terminology Formation Cours Unité (d’apprentissage) –Terminology of the University – refer to university website –In the absence of authorized equivalents submit a course structure diagram Une formation comporte des cours qui comportent à leur tour des unités (d’apprentissage) ? A (degree) program is made up of courses, which are themselves made up of learning units?

Managining ‘colingualism’ When two languages are used together as is the case here adjustments are necessary since the two systems are not completely autonomous. –Cf. cours = course BALIBAR, Renée (1993), Le colinguisme, Paris, PUF, Que sais-je ? RAUS, Rachele (2013), La terminologie multilingue, Bruxelles, De Boek.

Note on formation 1. Two meanings in French (count/uncount) - une formation (a course) - la formation (training, education…) 2.training is closely linked to skills 3.importance of learning rather than teaching in English-language education science

‘navigating’ the page This screen is called ‘Main Menu’, showing exclusively (1) the list of courses in which you are enrolled on the left (1) [explanation as a footnote] This ‘Menu’ screen is composed of two areas. On the left area, it displays a list of all the programmes and course to which you have subscribed. Then you see a screen entitled ‘Menu’ (see the screenshot below). This section is divided in two parts: –On the left part, in the column, you see a list displaying only the courses to which you have signed up. –On the right part….

footnote Pour obtenir les cours librement accessibles à tous, vous devez entrer comme visiteur. Cette modalité est expliquée page précédente. –Use of footnotes – when are they justified? If you want to access courses open for browsing, you need to enter as a visitor. Consult the previous page for a more detailed explanation Please note that only unregistered visitors can access free courses. This means that if you are logged in to your account, you won’t be able to access them. To find out how to enter this website as a guest, see previous page. If you want to access courses accessible to all, you must log in as a visitor. If you do not know how to do so, please refer….[first sentence of text]

Avoiding repetition (concision) Cet écran se compose de deux zones, celle de gauche représente les intitulés de la formation et des cours auxquels vous êtes inscrit, celle de droite fonctionne comme une loupe, laissant découvrir le contenu détaillé de l’intitulé que vous avez sélectionné. –The information about the left-hand zone has already been mentioned. Is it worth repeating, as in French? This screen, called ‘Menu’, is split into two parts; the left column which [works like a magnifying glass and] consists in a list of courses you are enrolled in […] and the central part, which offers you the detailed content of the item you selected.

Linking to illustrations Dans le cas illustré par l’exemple ci-dessous, l’élément sélectionné dans le menu de gauche, le Cours 1 de la formation « Informatique en Psychologie et en Sciences de l’Education » comprend un forum et deux unités. –In the example [right] below, you can see that the item selected from the list on the left (Course 1 of the program ‘Informatique en psycho…’ comprises a forum and two learning units.

Translating ‘helpful hints’ Lorsque vous souhaitez quitter Esprit, pensez toujours à cliquer sur « Quitter ». Dans le cas contraire, votre connexion ne sera pas enregistré et les statistiques de vos fréquentations de la formation ne seront pas à jour. Donc… toujours cliquer sur « Quitter » à la fin de votre travail sur Esprit ! –The heavy insistance on logging off is probably a result of a fault in the design of the program. Thus the repetition. –What is the consequence for the user? Their connection won’t be recorded (and they may lose marks) Once you have finished your work and wish to leave Esprit, remember to click ‘Quitter’ [on the bottom right corner of the screen]. Otherwise, your connection will not be recorded and you will not be credited with the time you spent working. [So don’t forget to click ‘Quitter’ whenever you exit Esprit.]

Instruction or explanation? (2) Pour obtenir le contenu d’un cours, vous serez amené à sélectionner l’intitulé du cours dans le menu de gauche (1). –Select the title of a course from the left menu (1) to access the content. –If you want to access the content of a credit, you will need [not have to] to select the name of that credit from the menu on the left (1). –How to view the content of a course Click on the course title (?) of your choice in the left-hand menu. –In the example below….

Attention aux apparitions… Déballez-les plutôt ! Dans l’exemple ci-dessous, la sélection du Cours 1 […] se marque par l’apparition d’une flèche au côté de l’élément sélectionné (cercle rouge) et par l’affichage, au niveau de la zone centrale, du contenu du cours. In the example below, an arrow appears next to the name of the item selected (shown here circled in red), in this case Cours 1. You can see the corresponding content in the central part of the screen.

Ranking of presentation of information Le cours pris en exemple est composé, outre d’une description et d’un forum, de trois unités d’apprentissage. –Surely the vital part of the course in question is the three learning units, the other information is less important. –The example [credit shown in the screenshot] comprises three learning units as well as a description and a (discussion) forum.

Structuring the translation According to the translation brief, you may be able to restructure the information. If this were the case, what would you suggest?

Some off-the-cuff translation Cours 1. L’informatique, support expérimental A l’occasion de ce premier cours, vous serez amené à découvrir l’usage de l’ordinateur en tant que support d’expérimentation. Course 1. Manage your experiments with IT/Using IT to manage your experiments/experimentation space For your first course, you will find out how to use a computer to manage your experiments.

suite Après avoir pris connaissance de quelques éléments théoriques issus de la littérature, vous serez invité à passer un test sur ordinateur et à mener une analyse critique à propos de l’expérience que vous aurez vécue. [explanatory strategy] First you will acquaint yourself with the literature. Then you will take a computer-based test. Finally you will assess how well you have managed the course.

Cours 1 les premiers pas dans Esprit Un cours est composé de différentes parties, généralement appelées « unités ». Comme vous pouvez la remarquer ci-dessous, ce cours est composé de quatre unités d’apprentissage. Getting started in Esprit A course is made up of different parts, generally called learning units. Refer to the screenshot below. The course is made up of four learning units.

suite Le « sommaire » d’un cours est souvent muni d’un forum. Cet outil, qui vous permet de communiquer via des messages écrits déposés par chacun des participants aux cours, est un outil important qui vous permettra de vous tenir au courant de tout ce qui se passe à propos du cours (ce qu’il faut faire, comment le faire, discussion en équipe sur un travail à remettre, etc.)… There is often a forum associated with the summary. You can use this forum to communicate with other on the course by way of written messages. You can keep abreast with everything to do with the course (what you need to do, what to discuss about as a team about an assignment to get in…)

suite Cette zone (sous fond gris) permet de décrire le contenu du cours, de présenter ses objectifs, son déroulement ainsi que d’annoncer certains changements sous forme de « nouvelles ». This grey zone displays the contents of the course, the aims, the schedules and changes presented as news.